


The Pit

by Feralmaeda



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Attempt at Humor, Erratic updates because this is what I use for shitposting and fighting writers block, Everyone goes to Hope’s Peak, Hajime Hinata Sucks Toes, Humor, I’ll explain that in a completely unrelated fic sometime, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kamukura Izuru Has His Own Body, M/M, Multi, Not everyone appears in the first chapter but I know they will later, So Izuru is a separate person, The Kamukura Project goes much better and Hajime’s body isn’t used for it, This is a fucking mess already, group chat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-03-08 04:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feralmaeda/pseuds/Feralmaeda
Summary: Izuru Kamukura abuses the power he’s been given to amuse himself.By which I mean, he creates a group chat and adds the people he thinks will be fun to watch.Edit: I got bored and impulsive and made a discord server. You can join in and talk to/yell at me about stuff, I’m absolutely down for it!https://discord.gg/BS8WpMY





	1. Welcome to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s the group chat names as Izuru first sets them:
> 
> Class 77 + Hajime  
> Ibuki: scene  
> Izuru: god  
> Sonia: disney  
> Chiaki: gamer gf  
> Nagito: hopefucker  
> Hajime: orange justice  
> Kazuichi: carbonated beverage  
> Fuyuhiko: gun  
> Gundham: ow the edge
> 
> Class 78  
> Makoto: baby boy. baby  
> Kyouko: madam detective  
> Byakuya: capitalism 
> 
> Class 79  
> Miu: thot  
> Tenko: lesbian  
> Kokichi: evil  
> Shūichi: has no rights
> 
> Also I’m probably going to add Fukawa later, and I’ll take suggestions for others

**Izuru Kamukura** has added **Hajime Hinata** , **Nagito Komaeda** , and 13 others to the server.

 

 **Izuru Kamukura** has changed the nicknames of 16 people.

 

 **god:** welcome to the pit. escape is not an option, nor is muting. i programmed this server to my likings, therefore i am its god. all requests go to me. Nagito also might get to be a mod eventually

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh, thank you, Izuru!

 

 **orange justice:** why can’t I change my nickname Izuru this is bullshit wh???? Why will Nagito get to mod??

 

 **god:** because i know he won’t leave

 

 **hopefucker:** Well, he isn’t wrong!

 

 **orange justice:** Damn

 

 **orange justice:** I can’t believe we’re breaking up, Izuru

 

**god:**

 

 **god** : i will give you mod rights except for the ability to leave and mute. you could then change your nickname

 

 **orange justice:** You’re really gonna be stubborn about this huh?

 

 **god:** yes. i think this will be fun. i have nothing else to do

 

 **orange justice:** Damn, I’m not even on the list huh,,,,,

 

 **carbonated beverage:** oh my god I can’t believe I opened up my phone to this

 

 **carbonated beverage:** CAN I PLEASE?? LEAVE?? I don’t want this!!

 

 **god:** no. suffer.

 

 **carbonated beverage:** O U C H

 

 **gun:** I already fucking hate this this is the WORST idea jesus christ

 

 **gun:** Oh shit oh fuck Kamukura you added HIM??? I’m gonna fuck you up. I’m gonna fight you. I’m going to strangle you with my bare goddamn hands

 

 **god:** you can’t even reach. and yes, i added kokichi. he’s amusing

 

 **evil:** owo what’s this????

 

 **gun:** Hinata I fucking hate your boyfriend can I please kill him I’ll pay you

 

 **orange justice:** Kuzuryuu I’m sorry but he’s my emotional support cat

 

 **gun:** cat???

 

 **orange justice:** He sometimes disappears for days at a time and kinda purrs when I brush his hair, so he’s basically a cat

 

 **hopefucker:** Izuru Kamukura, Ultimate Therapy Cat……

 

 **evil:** SO BASICALLY? ULTIMATE FURRY,,,,,,,, Wow, Hinata, I didn’t know you were into that!!!

 

 **orange justice:** I

 

 **orange justice:** Fuck You I’m not into that, and you have no right to accuse me of  ANYTHING after coming in here and saying “owo what’s this”

 

 **evil:** That’s fair!

 

 **god:** this is already very entertaining. i hold no regrets

 

 **gun:** Oh I SURE DO

 

 **evil:** Can it, Boss Baby!! Your opinion doesn’t matter here!!

 

 **gun:** Kokichi Ouma. Given the opportunity, legal or not, I WILL kill you

 

 **evil:** Fool!! Absolute buffoon!!

 

 **evil:** Bold of you to assume I’ll stay dead!! Bold of you to assume you can kill me in a way that matters anyways!!

 

 **evil:** And besides, if you think death is the worst punishment, you’ve never known real suffering uwu

 

 **orange justice:** yOU DON’T JUST PUT “uwu” AFTER SHIT LIKE THAT??? OUMA????

 

 **evil:** ùwú

 

 **gun:** This little grape gremlin is fucking insane

 

 **carbonated beverage:** uh!! Yeah you’re right. Can we please ban him??

 

 **god:** no. but i do have a way to calm him down for when things get too chaotic

 

 **gun:** Which is?

 

 **god:** **@has no rights** , come get your bastard

 

 **orange justice:** Why did you make Saihara’s nickname “has no rights”? All the other ones make some sort of sense

 

 **god:** because bottoms have no rights

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh. So that’s why I have that role.

 

 **god:** exhibit a

 

 **orange justice:** In that case, Izuru, your rights have been revoked, hand them over

 

 **evil:** Wig!

 

 **god:** fool. i am versatile

 

 **orange justice:** Not with me you haven’t been. Bottom.

 

 **evil:** W I G!!

 

 **god:** that will change soon.

 

 **orange justice:** Is that a threat

 

 **orange justice:** Is that a literal fucking threat??

 

 **has no rights:** Oh my god.. What is this? What’s Kokichi done?

 

 **gun:** This is hell and your boyfriend is a prick please get rid of him

 

 **evil:** Man, you’re reeeeeeally after me, huh?

 

 **has no rights:** ?? Get rid of him?

 

 **god:** he wants you to calm him down

 

 **has no rights:** He’s currently at like, the calmest I’ve ever seen him? If he’s messing around with anything I think he’s just Like That

 

 **gun:** This is what he’s like when he’s calm?? How do you fucking stand him?? Why are you dating him??

 

 **has no rights:** You don’t know all the facts

 

 **gun:** Which are?

 

 **has no rights:** I love him

 

 **evil:** AWWW SHUUICHI BABY!! Detective boy, I love you!!! uwu

 

 **carbonated beverage:** Was that a fucking.. Vine reference?

 

 **evil:** >;3c

 

 **carbonated beverage:** I’m going to die here

 

 **gun:** You aren’t alone

 

 **evil:** We’re all going to die eventually!!

 

 **evil:** Maybe!

 

 **carbonated beverage:** WHAT DO YOH MESN MAYBE WHY DO YOU SAY RHINGS LIKE THAT WHAT ARS UOU???

 

 **evil:** Oh, You Know!

 

 **carbonated beverage:** NO I DONT????

 

 **evil:** Too bad, then you’ll just have to die without knowing!

 

 **carbonated beverage:** WHKSHAKFCUJK?????

 

 **has no rights:** Kokichi,,, Please stop, you’re scaring him

 

 **evil:** Fiiiiiine, but only because my beloved asked me to <3

 

 **gun:** I fucking hate all of you

 

 **god:** unrelated but i can’t believe souda’s dead

 

 **evil:** Souda? Souda?? Oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead!!

 

 **orange justice:** You know what? Fine, Izuru, give me the mod rights, it looks like this is actually going to be a thing and I want to have some sort of ability

 

 **god:** understandable, welcome to the hell monitors

 

 **hopefucker:** Hell monitors…

 

 **god:** you may join too. someday.

 

 **gun:** You’re very clearly playing favorites, you know

 

 **god:** i am well aware

 

 **orange justice:** alright so hey?? Izuru?? What’s going on with these roles

 

 **god:** i don’t know what you mean

 

 **orange justice:** oh, so do you want me to list them all?? Huh?? Fucker???

 

**orange justice:**

Fucks to Survive: Literally everyone except Makoto, Kirigiri, and Nanami have this role

Has No Rights: Nagito, Saihara, Kazuichi, Iruma

Evades Taxes: You, Nagito, Ouma, Togami, Kuzuryuu, Kirigiri, Iruma, Mioda

Just Baby: Makoto, Nanami

Feral: Nagito, me, you, Togami, Naegi, Kuzuryuu, Kirigiri, Kokichi, Iruma, Chabashira, Mioda

 

 **orange justice:** What do you have to say for yourself?

 

 **god:** i’m right.

 

 **hopefucker:** Well, he kind of is? I do pay my taxes though..

 

 **god:** your energy says otherwise

 

 **hopefucker:** Understandable!

 

 **orange justice:** You’re both dumbasses

 

 **god:** maybe so

 

 **carbonated beverage:** HEY WHY DON’T I HAVE RIGHTS?

 

 **god:** i gave you that role as soon as you keyboard smashed

 

 **carbonated beverage:** Dsicrimination,,,,,

 

 **carbonated beverage:** My hands were shaking with TERRoR IH aVe RIGHTS!!

 

 **god:** no, you don’t. no rights.

 

 **gun:** Are you really one to be judging? Really? Hinata already called you out. We all know, as much as I wish we didn’t

 

 **gun:** Actually? Even if he hadn’t said anything, I think you forget that I’ve been in the dorm building before. Which, by the way, I hate the both of you but especially you Kamukura

 

 **god:** fair

 

 **capitalism:** Good lord, what is this?

 

 **gun:** Is. Is that Togami from 78

 

 **god:** yes

 

 **gun:** Did you just invite the people that you thought would be the funniest to see in the same place?

 

 **god:** obviously

 

**gun:**

 

 **gun:** Hinata please let me kill him I’m begging you please you’d still have one boyfriend do you really need two?

 

 **evil:** Allow me to translate!!

 

 **evil:** Jeez, Hinata, how come you get to have TWO boyfriends?

 

 **capitalism:** Alright, I think I’ve seen enough.

 

 **capitalism:** How do I leave.

 

 **madam detective:** Unfortunately, you’re stuck here.

 

 **capitalism:** Oh. You’re here. How wonderful.

 

 **capitalism:** Kamukura Izuru, I demand you let me leave at once.

 

 **god:** your prayer has not been answered. perish

 

 **baby boy. baby:** ohhh so this is what Byakuya’s getting mad at!! hey guys!!

 

 **orange justice:** Oh my god is that Naegi

 

 **god:** yes

 

 **god:** hello, naegi

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh, Makoto! It’s good to hear from you!

 

 **baby boy. baby:** hey Komaeda!! is basically everyone in here?

 

 **hopefucker:** Kind of?

 

 **capitalism:** Unfortunately.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Byakuya,, be nice!!

 

 **capitalism:** Hm. No.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** :((

 

 **capitalism:** Fine.

 

 **disney:** Is that what you call “whipped”?

 

 **god:** in one sense of the word, yes

 

 **thot:** DID SOMEONE SAY W H I P P E D   

 

 **evil:** U g h

 

 **evil:** Why’s she in here?????

 

 **evil:** Kamukuraaaaaaaa make her leave :’’’((((((((

 

 **god:** no

 

 **evil:** Damn, well, I tried

 

 **thot:** scuk it up, shota!!

 

 **evil:** Only for Shuu, slut!

 

 **gun:** I fucking hate this I hate it so much fuck

 

 **capitalism:** As do I.

 

 **carbonated beverage:** wAIT SONIA I SAW SONIA

 

 **god:** she went offline

 

 **carbonated beverage:** SONIA COME BACK SAVE ME PLEASE

 

 **gun:** Give it up, buddy….

 

 **evil:** Man, is that Souda I can hear crying??

 

 **evil:** What a little bitch!!

 

 **carbonated beverage:** SHHUT UPKJ!

 

 **evil:** :}

 

 **gun:** And now he’s offline too

 

 **hopefucker:** Another one bites the dust…

 

 **evil:** RIP Souda :pensive:

 

 **gun:** I know you’re all horrible but sometimes I’m reminded of just how horrible

 

 **hopefucker:** Surprising that you could ever forget about my level of atrocity! I’m the lowest of the low, you know, truly the most terrible!

 

 **god:** Nagito

 

 **orange justice:** NAGITO

 

**hopefucker:**

 

 **hopefucker:** Yes?

 

 **god:** stop that

 

 **orange justice:** Nagito I swear to god the next time you put yourself down I’m going to go physically fight you, you aren’t the worst, get that through your thick fucking fluffy head of yours dumbass we love you

 

 **hopefucker:** hvbhujhghgdtgfkj

 

 **god:** Hajime you killed him

 

 **orange justice:** Yeah but with kindness

 

 **thot:** y’all fuckin gay

 

 **god:** mayhaps

 

 **gun:** Why are you guys like this

 

 **god:** why are any of us the way that we are. is it nature or nurture that shapes a person most definitively, and what of the outcome. are you even truly an individual in a world like ours. in this essay i

 

 **gun:** Is

 

 **gun:** Is that a fucking meme format

 

 **gun:** Hinata is that what he’s doing

 

 **orange justice:** Yeah

 

 **gun:** Goddamnit


	2. Tea, apparently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ibuki and Tenko finally make an appearance for a bit and also Gundham. High-key tempted to include Gondam (Gonta/Gundham),,, also don’t worry they’re closer in age than you might initially think. Gonta had to catch up before he could enter high-school. They could’ve actually been in the same class if he hadn’t had to

**The Pit — 2:17 am**

 

 **scene:** OHHHHH WHATS THIS WHATS THIS?????

 

 **scene:** A NEW SERVER??????

 

 **hopefucker** : Mioda? It’s two in the morning?

 

 **scene:** HECK YEAH IT IS!!!!!

 

 **hopefucker:** Why are you up? You can’t perform your best without enough rest..

 

 **scene:** OOH THAT RHYMED!! RAD!!

 

 **scene:** IBUKI IS UP BECAUSE SLEEP IS FOR COWARDS!! INSTEAD, IBUKI PLAYED GUITAR HERO ALL NIGHT!!

 

 **scene:** WHY ARE YOU UP, KOMAEDA??? JAMMIN TOO??

 

 **hopefucker:** Ah. No?

 

 **scene:** OOHHHH WAIT IBUKI KNOWS!!

 

 **scene:** IBUKI KNOWS WHAT KOMAEDAS DOING!!

 

 **scene:** Komaeda has his BOOOYFRIENDS OVER!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh, I wish.. I’d actually been rereading through some books that I liked when I was younger. I’d made it to the.. Hm. Third section..?

 

 **hopefucker:** That doesn’t feel like the right word, but neither does season, so I’m not sure what word I’m looking for. I guess I’ve forgotten it.

 

 **scene:** OOF

 

 **scene:** THATS ROUGH BUDDY

 

 **hopefucker:** ..Can I ask why you keep typing in all caps? It’s clear that you can still use lowercase..

 

 **scene:** NOPE (*≧∀≦*)

 

 **hopefucker:** Ah, alright!

 

 **god:** Nagito

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh, hello, Izuru! Fine morning, isn’t it?

 

 **god:** you need rest

 

 **god:** go to sleep

 

 **hopefucker:** I.. Can’t. I’ve been trying for the past thirty minutes or so.

 

**god:**

 

 **god:** get over here. Hajime isn’t awake to scold you too but i know what he’d say

 

 **god:** he would call you a dumbass and tell you to grab a pillow and come to my room, so that is what i’m doing

 

 **god:** dumbass

 

 **hopefucker:** Oh! Thank you!

 

 **scene:** OHHHHH KOMAEDAS GOING TO SLEEP WITH HIS BOYFRIENDS!!!!!! S P I C Y !!!!

 

 **lesbian:** WHY DOES TENKO SEE THIS ON HER PHONE?

 

 **lesbian:** DISGUSTING

 

 **lesbian:** YOU DEGENERATES HAD BETTER NOT BE UP TO ANYTHING!

 

 **god:**  crime time

 

 **lesbian:** STOP THAT!!

 

 **lesbian:** I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, KAMUKURA! I WILL USE NEO AKIDO ON YOU!

 

 **god:** likewise. i could be over in ten minutes if you would really like to spar

 

 **lesbian:** W WHY DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE ???

 

**god:**

 

 **god:** i know where everyone lives. it is a precaution

 

 **scene:** OOHHHHH YOU KNOW WHERE IBUKI IS?? SEND IBUKI SOME POSTCARDS!!!

 

 **god:** ..postcards

 

 **scene** : YEAH!!! KAMUKURA GETS TO GO TO SUPER COOL SECRET PLACES BECAUSE HES THE ULTIMATE HOPE AND ALL RIGHT??

 

**god:**

 

 **god:** i will personally send you a postcard from hpa’s testing facility. i’ll make it with glitter glue and everything for you

 

 **scene:** HECK YEAH!!!

 

 **scene:** SOLIDARITY!!!!!

 

 **god:** i fail to see how that’s solidarity but “go off,” i suppose

 

 **scene:** ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

 

 **evil:** (´⊙ω⊙`)

 

 **scene:** Σ（・□・）IBUKI HASNT MET YOU BEFORE!!

 

 **evil:** That’s because not many people meet me and live to tell the tale uwu

 

 **scene:** OH SPOOKY!!! IBUKI COULD USE THAT FOR A LIT SONG TITLE!!!

 

 **evil:** Ohhhhhh of course, you’re that girl in class 77 with the neon and the death metal!! Shuu listens to your stuff sometimes when he’s having a crisis at ten thirty in the pm!

 

 **scene:** YEAH THATS IBUKI!!!! CRISIS AT TEN THIRTY IN THE PM COULD BE A REALLY GOOD SONG TITLE TOO!! IBUKI SHOULD TALK TO YOU MORE FOR INSPIRATIONAL PURPOSES!!

 

 **evil:** You seem pretty fun, so same!!

 

**The Pit — 8:43 am**

 

 **gun:** I just caught up and I think the most terrifying friendship I’ve ever seen is Mioda and Ouma

 

 **evil:** owo

 

 **gun:** oh fuck he’s still here

 

 **gun:** Did you even sleep, you little goblin?

 

 **evil:** Pot calling the kettle black, huh???

 

 **evil:** Face it, business baby!! We’re basically the same except I’m you but cooler!

 

 **gun:** That’s the most incorrect and horrifying thing I’ve heard in my entire life

 

 **evil:** I guess you’re just a coward for ignoring the truth like you are uwu

 

 **gun:** I’m not a coward, I just think you’re a dumbass and that your ideas have no merit

 

 **evil:** Oof, ow, my feelies ;^;

 

 **evil:** That hurts!! I thought we were short, gun-wielding, illegal organization-running buddies!!

 

 **gun:** FUCK YOU WE AREN’T FRIENDS

 

 **gun:** Also that implies you have a gun

 

 **gun:** Don’t tell me you actually have one

 

 **evil:** Alright! I won’t tell you then!

 

 **gun: @has no rights** please tell me your absolutely batshit boyfriend doesn’t have a gun

 

 **evil:** ōwô

 

 **has no rights:** Does a nerf gun count

 

 **gun:** It’s just a nerf gun? Oh thank god

 

 **god:** thanks accepted, though it is unwarranted

 

 **gun:** Fuck you, Kamukura

 

 **orange justice:** Sorry, thats my job

 

 **gun:** HINATA. FUCK OFF

 

 **god:** i hope you know he woke up just to send that

 

 **god:** seems he has a sixth sense for opportunities to assert that he’s one of my boyfriends

 

 **orange justice:** Could it be a talent?

 

 **god:** Hajime hinata, ultimate boyfriend..

 

 **god:** that certainly works

 

 **evil:** you guys are such fucking saps ughhhhhhhh

 

 **evil:** Ultimate Boyfriend title definitely goes to my beloved though <3

 

 **gun:** What did you say about the pot calling the kettle black? Bastard?

 

 **evil:** Rude!! I’ll have you know I am a RAT!!

 

 **gun:** Oh

 

 **gun:** Excuse me

 

 **gun:** Rat bastard

 

 **evil:** Yeah, that’s more like it!

 

 **orange justice:** Saihara, about Ouma: he’s sexy, in a rat kinda way

 

 **has no rights:** DNSKGDJSHD

 

 **has no rights:** Kokichi I

 

 **has no rights:** I’m sorry but they've got me

 

 **evil:** Shuu!! :0

 

**evil:**

 

 **evil:** You think I’m sexy?? ;3

 

 **gun:** Please continue this conversation in your DMs

 

 **evil:** But my darling Shuu’s so cute when he gets embarrassed!!!

 

 **evil:** Besides, I think it could be fun~~

 

 **gun:** I beg to differ

 

 **evil:** Then beg!! 0w0

 

 **gun:** jesus fucking CHRIST you’re terrifying

 

 **gun:** I hate you

 

 **evil:** Mmm, no, you’re just a coward! Humans hate that which they cannot comprehend!

 

 **gun:** I

 

 **gun:** What the absolute fuck Ouma

 

 **god:** he isn’t wrong though

 

 **god:** humans are pitiful creatures that more often than not lash out at anything which dares to exist outside of their societal expectations

 

 **orange justice:** Alright, this got depressing fast, new topic before Nagito and/or others see this and start their day off wrong

 

 **orange justice:** Topic proposed: We all get off of our phones for like an hour and actually get our shit together for the day

 

 **evil:** Topic denied! Too boring! Next!!

 

 **god:** i have something that i have been wondering about for a while, perhaps i could use this opportunity to get answers

 

 **god: @ow the edge,** do you or do you not hold affections for one of our lowerclassmen

 

 **ow the edge:** You dare to summon ME? THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE GUNDHAM TANAKA? YOU SO DARE TO ASK ME OF MY PERSONAL ENDEAVORS? IMPERTINENT WHELP!

 

 **god:** so he does

 

 **ow the edge:** I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SLANDER

 

 **god:** it would be libel, technically, since it’s typed, but it isn’t because it’s fact

 

 **gun:** He went offline..

 

 **gun:** Hey, Kamukura?? What the fuck? How do you know about this shit? Who the hell does Edgelord Supreme fancy?

 

 **evil:** “fancy”

 

 **gun:** Shut the fuck up Ouma

 

 **evil:** rude òAó

 

 **god:** you’ll find out

 

 **god:** eventually

 

 **gun:** KAMUKURA

 

 **god:** what

 

 **gun:** You can’t just pull this shit and not give the actual details?

 

 **god:** i think you’ll find that i can

 

 **god:** while the tea is, in fact, scorching, i believe i will keep it for myself

 

 **gun:** OH FUCK YOU

 

 **has no rights:** DNSNBDNS

 

 **orange justice:** Who taught him that??

 

 **evil:** Ohhh I think he picked it up from me!

 

 **evil:** Tea!!

 

 **orange justice:** Izuru, the fact that you’re around him enough to pick up anything at all is kind of terrifying?

 

 **god:** good

 

 **evil:** good!!

 

 **gun:** I fucking hate this

 

 **god:** it wouldn’t be any fun if you wanted to be here

 

 **gun:** Ouma obviously wants to be here, can you kick him out then?

 

 **god:** he is here as a catalyst while you are present as a reactant. it is different

 

 **gun:** What the fuck does that even mean

 

 **god:** it means he’s staying

 

 **evil:** ;3c

 

 **gun:** I hate this fucking school and everyone in it


	3. Trio Time Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added Fukawa because she amuses me and I also added Gonta because I thought using the voice text function would be fun and so far it is  
> Also Makoto, Izuru, and Kokichi are all buddies and everyone else should be very afraid

**The Pit — 4:52 pm**

 

 **god** has kicked **gun** from the server.

 

 **god** has added **Touko Fukawa** , **Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu** , and 1 other to the server.

 

 **god** has changed the nicknames of 3 people.

 

 **god:** you thought you were clever, kuzuryuu, creating a new account to replace your old one

 

 **god:** fool

 

 **nyakuza:** I’m going to kill you with my bare fucking hands

 

 **god:** as i have previously stated, you are not capable

 

 **nyakuza:** Fuck You

 

 **ew:** Wh-what is this?? Why was I added to this?

 

 **god:** this is hell, and you were brought here for my amusement

 

 **ew:** I-I don’t have to obey a bottom like you!

 

 **god:** ouch. really hitting hard, aren’t you. what a blow to my confidence. i may never recover. oh the agony.

 

 **god:** you may wish to “fact-check”

 

 **ew:** I d-don’t have to, because I know your type!

 

 **god:** what, twinks? fair, though i stand by the fact that i view Hajime as a twunk, solely based on his rather surprising muscle definition

 

 **orange justice:** Wow thanks, Izuru. Real flattering

 

 **god:** you are welcome

 

 **ew:** That’s not what I m-meant!

 

 **god:** i am aware

 

 **ew:** Y-you’re frustrating..

 

 **god:** i am also aware of that

 

 **evil:** He’s been learning from the best!! ;3

 

 **hopefucker:** Izuru’s with Ouma? I was wondering where he was..

 

 **evil:** Yeah, he’s with me!! Being Gay

 

 **god:** doing crime

 

 **baby boy. baby:** And having a Good Time!!

 

 **ew:** N-Naegi?

 

 **hopefucker:** Makoto?

 

 **orange justice:** ???? Are you with them too??

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Yeah!! I got Kamukura to buy us all ice cream and now we’re hanging out at that one little park thing just off HPA’s campus!!

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Ouma’s on top of that playplace castle thing and Kamukura’s in a tree I think??

 

 **evil:** My City Now 0w0

 

 **god:** yes. look up

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Yeah he’s up there!! Pretty high too!

 

 **god:** as i have observed, “gay culture” is finding any way to sit so that your feet do not touch the ground

 

 **evil:** We Been Knew!!

 

 **evil:** Naegi’s got one leg up on the bench he’s on.. Bisexual Spotted owo

 

 **baby boy. baby:** So Basically I’ve Been Caught-

 

 **capitalism:** Makoto? Is this where you’ve been for the past hour?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Oh Byakuya!!! Hi!!!! Yeah, we’ve been hanging out!! Do you want to come join us?? You can have some of my ice cream if you want, it’s butter pecan!

 

 **capitalism:** No, it’s yours, enjoy it. As for joining your little trio’s escapades, I’ll have to pass. I don’t understand how you’re able to keep up with the both of them, personally.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Okay, fair, and I guess I’ve just got a lot of energy?

 

 **capitalism:** You certainly do.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** That’s it then!! also will I see you later??

 

 **capitalism:** Of course.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** !!! Awesome!!

 

 **evil:** Haha Gay!

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Heck Yeah it is!!

 

 **ew:** T-Togami? You’re in here against your will too?

 

 **capitalism:** Who is that.

 

 **capitalism:** Kamukura, is that Fukawa.

 

 **god:** perhaps

 

 **capitalism:** Were it not for the laws of this land and my father’s substantial monetary investment in the Kamukura Project, I would have slaughtered you.

 

 **god:** fair

 

 **orange justice:** Hey, Be Nice To My Boyfriend but also is that a fucking? Meme?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Byakuya!! :(((

 

 **capitalism:** Apologies.

 

 **capitalism:** Perhaps I would’ve just pinched you instead.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Ok still not that nice but getting better!!

 

 **capitalism:** Ah. Sorry. I mistyped. I meant punched.

 

 **god:** also fair

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Byakuya!!! D:

 

 **capitalism:** Would you rather I said “Kamukura, I strongly dislike you and the position you have put me in”?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** At least that’s less violent and threatening!!

 

 **capitalism:** Kamukura, I strongly dislike you and the position you have put me in.

 

 **god:** understandable

 

 **capitalism:** Before I go..

 

 **capitalism:** Fukawa.

 

 **ew:** Y-yes, Togami? What do you need? I’ll do my b-best!

 

 **capitalism:** Stop typing your stutter. It’s annoying.

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Byakuuuu >:0

 

 **ew:** Sorry! I won’t do it again, Togami!

 

 **capitalism:** Apologies, Makoto. I will see you later, have fun with your.. “Being Gay and Doing Crime.”

 

 **baby boy. baby:** I will!! I’m still gonna get onto you later for being mean though >:((

 

 **capitalism:** I look forward to it.

 

 **evil:** A punishment kink? In _Makoto’s_ Byakuya Togami? It’s more likely than you think!

 

 **orange justice:** I would say I’m surprised but i’m weirdly not?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Since Byakuya’s not online to get mad at you guys now i’m gonna have to do it for him so

 

 **baby boy. baby:** >:( !!

 

 **hopefucker:** I’m going to say it because we’re all thinking it and I have no impulse control.

 

 **hopefucker:** Makoto.. Is very cute.

 

 **orange justice:** Normally I would get a bit jealous but god you’re right

 

 **orange justice:** Makoto? Never change

 

 **baby boy. baby:** :D !!!

 

 **evil:** Not to interrupt you guys, but totally to interrupt you guys: Kamukura?

 

 **evil:** N y o o m

 

 **hopefucker:** Nyoom?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** HE’S GONE???

 

 **evil:** Yep! He took off into that little forest area like ten minutes ago owo

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Oh no-

 

 **orange justice:** You guys just actually lost my boyfriend,, Fuck

 

 **evil:** It’s not my fault he suddenly decided to go full feral uwu

 

 **orange justice:** Says you?? Resident rabid rat??

 

 **evil:** Hey!! Mean!! I don’t have rabies anymore òAó

 

 **orange justice:** I meant that as a complete fucking joke what do you mean by “anymore”?????? Ouma??

 

 **evil:** ôwô

 

 **orange justice: @has no rights** has your rat bf ever had rabies I’m concerned

 

 **has no rights:** Not to my knowledge?? I don’t think people can even get rabies though..

 

 **evil:** Bold of you to assume I’m human, Shuu!!

 

 **evil:** Speaking of that, how do you feel about “monsterfucking”

 

 **has no rights:** ..Yeah, I think it’s safe to assume he was joking

 

 **has no rights:** Also I. Don’t? Know??

 

 **evil:** I guess we’ll find out together then! ;3

 

 **orange justice:** And now he’s offline

 

 **evil:** Rude!! :{

 

 **god:** Hajime, i am fine, don’t worry

 

 **god:** i heard something and had to go check it out

 

 **orange justice:** “don’t worry,” he says, as I worry very much for him

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Oh Kamukura you’re okay!! What’d you find??

 

 **god:** gokuhara

 

 **god:** he was having a minor argument with a bird

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Oh if you’re there with him tell him I said hi!!

 

 **god:** no need. he can see your message

 

 **orange justice:** ??

 

 **orange justice:** Oh my god you added him to the chat

 

 **god:** yes. i have something to test. i’ll dm you

 

 **orange justice:** I sure do hope you have a good reason for adding him to this.. Den of depravity, Izuru

 

 **orange justice:** Also, Nagito, I see you typing, if you say anything about my hope then I’ll give you the silent treatment for a whole day. I won’t even look at you. That _is_ a Threat

 

 **hopefucker:** Ah. I’ve been apprehended.

 

 **bug boy:** Hello everyone it is Gonta!

 

 **evil:** Hey Kamukura?? Please tell me the inflection on his nickname you gave him is the same as that “hot boy” vine

 

 **god:** yes

 

 **evil:** Good uwu

 

 **nyakuza:** I would say I’m surprised, but that would be a fucking lie. Gokuhara, I’m so sorry they’ve done this to you

 

 **bug boy:** What have they done to Gonta?

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Okay I’m back!! Hi Gokuhara!!!

 

 **bug boy:** Hello Nike!

 

 **baby boy. baby:** Nike???

 

 **god:** he is using the speech function to send messages. it is easier than typing for him, as his fingers are rather large. i will adjust the programming so that it recognizes more names. it will only take a moment

 

 **thot:** Large fingers huh ;)))

 

 **orange justice:** Okay, so while he’s doing that! I second Kuzuryuu. Gokuhara, I’m so sorry

 

 **evil:** Iruma Shut The Fuck Up Challenge and also HEY!! I’m feeling kinda left out of the loop here!! óAò

 

 **evil:** Kamukuraaaaaaaa what’s going on?? >:0

 

 **god:** things of importance

 

 **evil:** What kinda things of what kinda importance? owo

 

 **god:** you will see. eventually

 

 **evil:** The blade of betrayal cuts deeper than any other :pensive:


	4. Trio Time Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's two thirty in the morning and I've hit peak feral, let's GO

**orange justice:** Alright so anyways, Izuru has an actual not-bad reason for adding Gokuhara to this shithole, so I’ll allow it

 

**god:** allow it… you never had a say in the matter, Hajime

 

**orange justice:** I

 

**disney:** Is that what you would call “Big Dick Energy?”

 

**carbonated beverage:** s SONIA??

 

**disney:** Ah! I think the phrase here is “gotta blast!”

 

**evil:** Nyoom!! owo

 

**carbonated beverage:** SONIA, PLEASE—

 

**god:** and i believe the phrase best used here is “rest in fucking peace”

 

**orange justice:** Izuru, even seeing you type a curse feels like some sort of law is being broken

 

**god:** i do not care for laws

 

**orange justice:** Yeah, I’m well aware

 

**orange justice:** Speaking of things that feel like they should be illegal, Izuru, you’ve got another package and I’m not gonna make the mistake of opening it again

 

**god:** oh, this one should be safe

 

**evil:** Safe?? Hey, hey, Kamukura, what kinda stuff are you ordering? ôwô

 

**god:** things that will mildly alarm/annoy/upset the staff that monitor my allowance card

 

**evil:** For example?

 

**god:** cosmetics, “feminine” clothing, things of a sexual nature, certain kinds of books, and other, more miscellaneous items

 

**god:** the cosmetics and “feminine” clothing irk them because they feel i should be typically masculine. however, gender conformity is bullshit, and i will do whatever i please

 

**god:** the sexual things (toys, adornments, videos) irk them because my libido was something they sought to erase with my emotions, but they were unsuccessful. it reminds them of their failure as well as thoroughly embarrasses them

 

**god:** as for books, they attempted to lock my card for a week after i ordered the satanic bible on amazon, so i thought that was funny and kept on in a similar manner later

 

**evil:** Honestly??? What An Icon owo

 

**evil:** Fuck them up, Kamukura!!

 

**hopefucker:** Oh, I support you, Izuru! They kind of deserve it!

 

**orange justice:** I love my asshole boyfriends

 

**hopefucker:** I love you too!

 

**orange justice:** Well, I’d hope so, otherwise this relationship would be very awkward

 

**god:** your jokes are stupid but i still love you

 

**orange justice:** I don’t think it was that bad

 

**god:** of course you don’t

 

**evil:** W I G !

 

**orange justice:** Shut UP, Ouma—

 

**evil:** I impolitely decline!

 

**baby boy. baby:** Oh by the way um!! Guys, I’m getting kinda tired, and I kinda wanna go see Byakuya, so is it alright if I head back to the dorms??

 

**god:** of course. we are not your keepers. you do not need to ask for permission

 

**baby boy. baby:** Oh sorry! It’s a habit ;;

 

**baby boy. baby:** Well, I’m gonna go then! I’ll see you later!

 

**evil:** Theeere heee goooes...There he goes!

 

**orange justice:** Off topic but Hey, Izuru? Hey? Did you really just lie to me about this package? 

 

**god:** i do not believe so, no

 

**orange justice:** So a whole black leather harness isn’t something you’d think to warn me about

 

**hopefucker:** _...Harness?_

 

**god:** you asked if the package was “safe,” and i did not believe the contents would harm you in any way upon opening

 

**orange justice:** I really should’ve known better huh

 

**evil:** A harness, huh? Kinky! owo

 

**thot:** _OH KINKY???_

 

**thot:** A full fuckin harness??? Damn, Kamukura, who’ve ya got wearing it? ;))

 

**god:** that is for me to know and for my partners to find out

 

**hopefucker:** Ah, that is very ominous! Thank you!

 

**orange justice:** _Izuru who the fuck is it fo_ r

 

**god:**  ..you are assuming i had a specific one of us in mind upon purchase

 

**thot:** DAMN,,, y’all wilding

 

**hopefucker:** Well… I volunteer, if you can't decide!

 

**orange justice:** ALRIGHT THIS CONVERSATION’S CANCELLED. NAGITO, IZURU, TAKE IT TO THE “UNNECESSARY” SERVER 

 

**thot:** Awwww, but I was having such a good bangin time! 

 

**baby boy. baby:** I leave for like five minutes and decide to check the chat before I silence my phone,,,,

 

**baby boy. baby:** If Ishimaru was in this server he would be so mad,,,,,,

 

**evil:** But he isn’t!! So we can all go apeshit!!

 

**bug boy:** Apes hit?

 

**baby boy. baby:** OH NO,,

 

**orange justice:** This is why I didn’t want him here…. He’s going to be corrupted……..

 

**god:** tragic. 

 

**god:** you would be surprised by what i already know him to be capable of

 

**evil:** OH DO I SMELL TEA 0w0

 

**god:** perhaps

 

**god:** but, again, it is mine. i do not share things lightly

 

**orange justice:** Yeah, he’s definitely telling the truth there. Still gives me looks occasionally if I drink from one of his cups

 

**orange justice:** Which, by the way, Izuru, is really stupid, because we’ve done worse

 

**nyakuza:** You’re all disgusting

 

**evil:** We Been Knew!!!! 

 

**evil:** We’re all just nasty rats uwu

 

**nyakuza:** Yeah, you especially 

 

**evil:** Yeah, because I’m the giant rat that makes all of the rules!!

 

**evil:** _(let’s see what kind of trouble I can get myself into)_

 

**nyakuza:** Giant? I could snap you in half

 

**evil:** Bold of you to assume I’m inflexible enough to snap

 

**evil:** I don’t have bones, unlike  _ some _ people!

 

**orange justice:** Hey, Ouma? What the Fuck

 

**evil:** I would think you’d know all about being boneless, Hinata! 

 

**evil:** Y’know, since you’re dating Ko and all!

 

**orange justice:** Wh? Nagito? Can I have an explanation?

 

**hopefucker:** Um… No? I guess I just don’t have bones, Hajime!

 

**orange justice:** WHDSFKJKJSD???

 

**god:** Hajime just got his rights revoked. i also believe this calls for a new role. boneless

 

**evil:** Looks like your relationship is now like a tupperware drawer!

 

**god:** elaborate

 

**evil:** No tops owo

 

**god:** fair

 

**orange justice:** I’m going to die here

 

**god:** i will not allow that

 

**orange justice:** I know, but I wish you would. Just put me out of my misery, huh—

 

**hopefucker:** Hajime, you’re starting to sound an awful lot like me…

 

**orange justice:** Fuck, you’re right.. Shit

 

**god:** that is what happens when people spend a large amount of time around each other

 

**god:** it is only a matter of time until Nagito says fuck

 

**god:** ignoring certain other instances, that is. i do not believe they count, as the word was used literally and not as an expletive 

 

**evil:** Komaeda saying fuck sounds like a spiritual expience and I think I legally have to be there

 

**orange justice:** ?? Why is Nagito saying fuck a big deal? I’ve heard him say it plenty of times

 

**god:**  but not as an expletive 

 

**orange justice:** Okay, that’s fair, but I still don’t get it

 

**evil:** Because it’s funny!!

 

**evil:** Kamukura, your boy’s got none brain cells, beef  _ left _

 

**god:** i do not understand the last part, but i know what you mean by “none brain cells,” and yes, i am aware of that

 

**orange justice:** I

 

**orange justice:** Ouch

 

**god:** it is not meant in a derogatory way. i actually find your intelligence about most things to be well above average, but there still are the other things that aren’t included in that

 

**god:** most of those having to do with matters of a social nature

 

**orange justice:** So in other words, I’m socially awkward

 

**god:** only mildly so

 

**orange justice:**

 

**orange justice:** Alright, I’ll take it

 

**orange justice:** But you’re on thin fucking ice

 

**god:** understandable


	5. Obligatory Chat Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gondam has entered the chat and also general chaos

**god:** we’re going to play a game

 

**god** has changed the nicknames of 17 people

 

**god:** i’ve seen people do this before and so i decided to both entertain myself and use this to initiate something i’ve been planning

 

**god:** henceforth, all of your icons will appear grey until your name is changed again. you cannot see or otherwise access the server’s members to check usernames, even if you have moderation abilities

 

**toesucker:** Oh no

 

**sadist:** ..I don’t think I’m that sadistic…

 

**toesucker:** WAIT FUCK 

 

**toesucker:** I DO  _ NOT _ SUCK TOES

 

**god:** keep telling yourself that

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** Wow, Kamukura, you  _ really _ snatched my weave.. WIG!

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** Aaaanyways, this looks like fun! owo

 

**eats chapstick:** !!! YEAH PARTY!

 

**toesucker:** I think we all know who that is

 

**sadist:** Yeah, I think most of the people here will be very obvious… We all do have fairly distinctive styles of typing!

 

**toesucker:** Speaking of that, I’m well aware of who you are 

 

**sadist:** Same to you!

 

**god:** are you going to reveal it or no

 

**toesucker:** NO

 

**toesucker:** BECAUSE I DON’T SUCK TOES 

 

**god:** that’s incorrect but “go off”, i guess

 

**convinced momota his name is spelt “kaitoe”:** OHOH WE’VE GOT A TOESUCKER?? DAMN! 

 

**convinced momota his name is spelt “kaitoe”:** That’s some real bottom energy right there!

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** THAT WAS YOU? YOU WERE THE ONE THAT BEAT ME TO IT?

 

**convinced momota his name is spelt “kaitoe”:** ;)

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** >:{

 

**god: @everyone** get on the server, you cowards

 

**still dabs:** I

 

**more than just bde:** h

 

**reads romance manga:** KAMUKURA PREPARE TO DIE

 

**god:** fool. you cannot kill me.

 

**reads romance manga:** OH? OH I CAN’T? LET’S FIND OUT!

 

**lesbian for naegi komaru:** I’ve lost all respect for the manga reader..

 

**more than just bde:** Hey, manga’s not that bad, Fukawa!!

 

**lesbian for naegi komaru:** I beg to differ…

 

**more than just bde:** Beg, then!

 

**toesucker:** If that’s who I think it is then I feel visceral fear

 

**more than just bde:** I’m not sure who you think I am but uh sorry??

 

**toesucker:** Oh god it is who I think it is

 

**more than just bde:** ?????

 

**sub:** I second the manga reader. Kamukura Die Challenge. 

 

**pulled the fire alarm multiple times:** Kamukura. I don’t know how you found out but you had better not tell anyone that it was me.

 

**god:** i will not. I found it amusing and therefore you are safe

 

**pulled the fire alarm multiple times:** Good.

 

**pulled the fire alarm multiple times:** Also, I have better things to do, so I’m Kirigiri, and if any of you report me for falsely pulling the alarm I will have your kneecaps displayed on my shelf. 

 

**god:** noted

 

**god** has changed  **pulled the fire alarm multiple times** to  **zodiac p.i.**

 

**god:** I believe our resident romance manga reader and naegi will understand that

 

**reads romance manga:** FUCK YOU

 

**more than just bde:** Oh yeah I do know that one!!

 

**more than just bde:** Wait heck 

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** and I oop-

 

**more than just bde:** I don’t think you’re in any position to make fun of me for revealing myself Ouma—

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** You’ve got me there uwu

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** Oh also! While we’re calling people out!

 

 **still mildly in the scene phase:** _HAJIME HINATA SUCKS TOES!!_

 

 **toesucker:** _I DO NOT_

 

**toesucker:** shit

 

**more than just bde:** BDKSHDJHSJ  _ HINATA OH MY GOD _

 

**toesucker:** IT DOESNT MATTER! I DON’T SUCK TOES! I DON’T!

 

**god:** i have photographic evidence that proves otherwise 

 

**toesucker:** wh

 

**toesucker:** huh

 

**god:** i could send it if you’d like

 

**toesucker:** NO DON’T

 

**god:** so you admit that it’s definitely a picture of you sucking toes

 

**toesucker:** f Fuck you

 

**sadist:** Oh, wow, his face is really red… It’s not from anger either, he’s just really embarrassed… That’s cute!

 

**toesucker:** NAGITO STOP EXPOSING ME

 

**sadist:** Sorry, Hajime! 

 

**toesucker:** YOU KNOW WHAT?

 

**toesucker:** IZURU, YOUR TURN.

 

**toesucker** has changed  **god** to  **Growls and hisses sometimes**

 

**Growls and hisses sometimes:** you are not very succinct

 

**Growls and hisses sometimes** has changed their nickname to  **bad dragon**

 

**toesucker:** HDJSHDJEHDH

 

**sadist:** ? I don’t get it.

 

**toesucker:** Nagito look at me

 

**sadist:**

 

 **sadist:** _OH._

 

**bad dragon:** anyways

 

**bad dragon: @everyone** if you don’t show up soon i will personally come into your house and

 

**bad dragon:** :)

 

**toesucker:** What does that mean

 

 **toesucker:** _IZURU WHAT DOES THAT MEAN_

 

**still mildly in the scene phase:** It means he’s gonna :) !!

 

**sub:** I hate that and all of you.

 

**reads romance manga:** Hinata are you sure I can’t kill him

 

**toesucker:** Ku

 

**toesucker:** Kuzuryuu????

 

**reads romance manga:** NO FUCK YOU

 

**bad dragon:** it’s kuzuryuu

 

**reads romance manga:** Fukc You

 

**still dabs:** ?? Dude Kuzuryuu I didn’t know you read romance manga

 

**reads romance manga:** That’s because it was a  _ SECRET, SOUDA _

 

**still dabs:** How do you know it’s me? I could be anybody!

 

**reads romance manga:** Read that first sentence again and think about it 

 

**still dabs:** Shit

 

**reads romance manga:** Also who the fuck  _ else _ would dab out of everyone in here

 

**eats chapstick:** OH ME! IBUKI WOULD!! BUT IRONICALLY!

 

**toesucker:** I knew it was her

 

**sadist:** Nice job, Hajime!

 

**toesucker:** I can feel the insincerity radiating from that sentence 

 

**sadist:** Hajime.. :(

 

**dislikes one (1) girl:** KAMUKURA THIS IS SLANDER!! ENOSHIMA DOESN’T COUNT!!

 

**bad dragon:** unfortunately, she does

 

**dislikes one (1) girl:** ENOSHIMA DOES!! NOT!! COUNT!!

 

**toesucker:** I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s Chabashira

 

**sadist:** Not a very long limb, is it…

 

**toesucker:** No

 

**toesucker:** Also Izuru when are you going to change the names of everyone who just got revealed and stuff

 

**bad dragon** has changed the nicknames of 10 people

 

**toesucker:** So do I have to change my own name then? Fine

 

**toesucker:**

 

**bad dragon:** :)

 

**toesucker:** IZURU LET ME CHANGE MY NAME

 

**bad dragon:** no. i think it’s funny

 

 **toesucker:** _IZURU_

 

**cute:** Is kind of is funny though, Hajime!

 

**cute:**

 

**cute:** Izuru, why did you change my name to “cute”?

 

**bad dragon:** because you are

 

**toesucker:** This is favoritism

 

**bad dragon:** it is not. i harass you both equally

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** I don’t mean to interrupt, but… What’s going on?

 

**rat:** !! Shūichi baby!!! It’s a game owo

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** H

 

**cried in a hot topic last well:** Okay? 

 

**rat:** Don’t worry, we all know it’s you, so you don’t have to play it anymore~ uwu

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** Fair. I don’t think anyone else here goes to Hot Topic….

 

**cute:** I do, actually! 

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** ...Komaeda??

 

**cute:** Yeah!

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** Somehow, I’m not surprised…

 

**cute:** Where did you think I got my wallet chain?

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** I guess it never crossed my mind, even though I did see similar ones there a few times… Did you get that collar you wear sometimes from there too?

 

**cute:** Oh, no, I actually had Izuru order it for me! I like it very much! :)

 

**cried in a hot topic last week:** Ah

 

**thot:** Kinky ;)

 

**cute:**

 

**cute:** Fair enough!

 

**two trucks:** WAIT I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST LIKE. FOR AESTHETIC

 

**cute:** I insist on fashion and function, even though Hajime says my fashion isn’t the best…

 

**toesucker:** Nagito. Your shoes have TWO ZIPPERS on them. It’s horrible

 

**cute:** I have a hard time tying knots, Hajime.. :(

 

**toesucker:** I’m begging you. Get different shoes. I’ll even tie the laces for you if it has them just

 

**toesucker:** Please

 

**bad dragon:** you’ve been having this argument for months. take it to the “shoe-shitshow” channel where it belongs 

 

**toesucker:** ...Fine, Alright

 

**rat:** Kamukura send me screenshots!! This looks entertaining owo

 

**bad dragon:** i impolitely decline

 

**rat:** :{

 

**bad dragon: @everyone** four of you still haven’t made an appearance. if you do not participate soon i will be forced to break in through your window and 

 

**bad dragon:** :)

 

**kuzoo:** Kamukura I fucking hate that

 

**couldn’t do genocide route:** whats rhis

 

**toesucker:** Nanami use your authority as class president to make Izuru let me change my name

 

**couldn’t do genocide route:** y tho. i think it fits

 

**toesucker:** IT DOES NOT

 

**bad dragon:** we’ve been over this. it does. and it is very entertaining

 

**toesucker:** I’m going to lick all of your favorite cups

 

**bad dragon:**

 

**bad dragon:** do not do that

 

**toesucker:** I’m in the process right now

 

**bad dragon:** you will meet your death in seven point thirty nine seconds at my hands

 

**toesucker:** Worth ithsj

 

**rat:** I can’t believe Hinata is fucking dead :pensive:

 

**cute:** Oh… 

 

**has a gun at all times:** I believe this is where we should all “Press F to Pay Respects”!

 

**couldn’t do genocide route:** [F]

 

**rat:** F

 

**egg:** F!

 

**cute:** F… 

 

**two trucks:** F

 

**gay for gokuhara:** What is this foolishness? What has happened to the Spiked One?

 

**two trucks:** Tanaka????

 

**gay for gokuhara:**

 

**gay for gokuhara:** I have made a Grevious Error and shall be taking my leave.

 

**also gay but oblivious:** Gonta saw name in notifications ?

 

**also gay but oblivious:**

 

**also gay but oblivious:** Does that mean Gundham like Gonta ?

 

**rat:** Yeah!! You should go smooch him!! Finally!! I’ve been seeing you guys pining for like, months!!

 

**also gay but oblivious:** What does tree have to do with this ?

 

**cute:** Never mind that, Gokuhara, I believe Ouma is right! I’ve also noticed that you seem to like each other… 

 

**also gay but oblivious:** Okay ! Thank you !

 

**has a gun at all times:** Is this what the Japanese call “boy’s love”?

 

**two trucks:** s SONIA?

 

**cute:** Well, technically, yes, but never mind that! 

 

**cute:** Could someone please come over and get Hajime and Izuru to stop wrestling? They’ve almost knocked over the coffee table twice now, please send help.

 

**kuzoo:** No, they’re assholes, perish

 

**cute:** Understandable, have a nice day!


End file.
